PREPARATION TIME: 0 minutes | AGE: 3 years+
MATERIALS:
Paper
Pen
Tape
INSTRUCTIONS:
Choose a time and place that’s good for a talk - when you’re both in a good mood, when no one is in a hurry. For us it was while I was performing my role as a conversing partner during a long toilet break.
I sat down in the bathroom and we had some fun together before I asked him ‘What can I do to be a better mommy?’. He was unsure as to what I was expecting and I explained I would like to know everything and anything that goes through his mind that would make me a better mommy for him.
Before our talk, I set some personal rules for myself without sharing them with him:
I wouldn't judge, laugh at, or dismiss any of his ideas.
I'd only ask for clarification if necessary and focus on listening.
I'd hold off on discussing any action plans until the end, so he could freely express himself without feeling limited by my immediate reactions.
He then shared 3 things in one breath:
❤️ Play together more often
❤️ Say ‘I love you’ more often
❤️ Kiss more often
I was prepared to make a plan together as to how he can get that Lego set he really wants - will Santa bring it, will it be a birthday present from me and his dad? How so very silly of me.
He continued sharing more feedback, I immediately went to get butt-shaped sticky notes and a pen and he came up with a list of 19 items to which we’re still adding. They’re ALL about love, connection, time spent together and ice cream.
The list is on the wall next to the toilet. We revisit it once every few days, either during a toilet break or during bath time. It reminds me and his dad what it is he really really wants and needs and he knows he is being listened to and valued.
DEVELOPMENT AREAS:
EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE: The activity involves having an open and honest conversation with the child, encouraging emotional expression and understanding their feelings and needs.
COMMUNICATION SKILLS: Through the talk with the child, the parent practices active listening, asking for clarification, and engaging in a meaningful dialogue.
PARENT-CHILD BONDING: The activity fosters a stronger bond between the parent and child through open communication, showing love, and spending quality time together.
EMPATHY AND RESPECT: By setting personal rules to listen without judgment and valuing the child's thoughts and feelings, the parent demonstrates empathy and respect towards the child.
SELF-AWARENESS: The parent reflects on their parenting approach, showing willingness to learn and improve, which can lead to enhanced self-awareness and personal growth.
TIME MANAGEMENT: The activity encourages finding suitable moments for bonding and communication, emphasizing the importance of making time for the child.
POSITIVE REINFORCEMENT: Implementing the child's suggestions and displaying the list on the wall serves as a constant reminder of the child's needs and a positive reinforcement of the parent-child relationship.
SELF-EXPRESSION: Encouraging the child to express their thoughts and feelings allows for self-expression and confidence-building in communicating their needs
